You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
