You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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