the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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