I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
