Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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