Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
