it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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