found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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