drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
