Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
