No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
And then my night got REAL pukey
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
