trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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