It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
