We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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