38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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