I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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