My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
