your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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