I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
