Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
