I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
