I think I am morally bankrupt
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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