I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
