so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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