don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
