Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
