If that was your dad, he is hot
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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