I just made out with a guy for $7.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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