wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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