you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
