it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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