I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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