do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
