i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
