just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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