You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
They should really pass out barf bags in church
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
