you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
