Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Randomize
