On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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