hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
