i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
