I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
