I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
