So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
