Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
