I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
