Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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