I need help removing her.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We had to coat check the pizza.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
