I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
