im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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