so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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