You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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